In Moments Of Intimacy I Put The Lights Out

Image Instagrammed by Karan Johar. (courtesy: KaranJohar)

New Delhi:

Karan Johar recently talked about his struggle with body dysmorphia and how he was not comfortable with his “effeminate voice” in an interview with Faye D’Souza on her YouTube channel. Karan Johar revealed that he used to attend voice modulation classes secretly and he thought he failed his parents as he was conditioned to believe he was not like the “other boys” in his class. Karan Johar told Faye D’Souza, “I felt I failed a lot as a child first. I felt I was failing my parents. I felt I wasn’t the boy that they should have had. I was conditioned to believe that because I was effeminate. I was unlike all the other boys in my school.”

Speaking of his struggle with body dysmorphia, Karan Johar said, “I have body dysmorphia. I am very awkward getting into a pool. I don’t know how to do it without feeling pathetic. I try hard to overcome it. I always wear oversized clothes.” He added, “Even in moments of intimacy I put the lights out.”

Recalling a specific incident, Karan Johar said, “There was this talent competition and everyone was performing, and I did a dance. I could tell that some people were sneering and laughing and my mother was in the audience. I remember going to the house, closing the door and crying thinking, ‘Why can’t I be like other boys?'”

Karan Johar also disclosed how he signed up for a voice modulation class in secret and he used to attend it in the name of computer classes. “I was battling body image issues and joined a public speaking class. There was a gentleman there who told me that I had an effeminate voice and that it isn’t going to be easy in life for me. He sent me to a class that would bring some kind of baritone in my voice. All this time, I was telling my dad that I was going for computer classes because I didn’t want to tell them that this is what I was going to do,” the director-producer said.

In the same interview, Karan Johar also talked about his kids’ query about their mother. Speaking to Faye D’Souza, Karan Johar said, “It is a modern family. It is an unusual circumstance, so now I am also dealing with the questions about ‘whose stomach was I born in? But mumma is not mumma really, she is my grandmother.” Karan Johar added, “I am going to school, to the counsellor, to ask how do we navigate the situation? And it is not easy, being a parent is never easy.” Karan Johar welcomed his twin children via surrogacy in 2017. Earlier, Karan Johar also talked about the perils of being a single parent and how he takes care of his kids with his 81-year-old mother Hiroo Johar.