How dressing up and undressing can affect intimacy

What to wear when you approach each other to ‘make love’ can contribute in a major way in getting attracted, setting the mood, have heightened arousal and ‘making love’ a highly satisfying experience.

When you approach your partner attractively dressed during intimacy, it clearly conveys your interest and eagerness to your partner, at the very outset. Everyone likes the partner who shows ‘exclusive’ interest in you. This can be best conveyed and that too beautifully and non-verbally by wearing something that would indicate attraction, interest and intention. This can invoke desired response and a give a good start.

As opposed to this, a lack of interest in grooming and looking attractive could convey exactly the opposite – no interest, no expectations, no initiative for intimacy. It could even be completely putting off for the partner. There are men and women who just don’t give any thought to how they look or come across when they approach their partner for intimacy. When it results into ‘no response’ from their partner for intimacy, they come up with a complain about the partner for not taking initiative or not responding to their sexual moves.

I always advise couples to start their foreplay with full clothes on and not by completely undressing from the very beginning. Let shedding of clothes happen gradually one by one, as arousal builds. It is also a good idea to undress ‘each other’ which acts like a non-verbal indicator of how aroused you are, how eager you are to touch and feel each other and with what pace you need to take it further. Any haste, hurry or even unusual delay, can be detrimental… as when sexual excitement builds and reaches its peak it doesn’t stay there for a long time. To stay alert to each other’s arousal building and to take it ahead at a right time when excitement is adequately built is important. This can be best indicated by the pace and passion with which you undress each other.

Alluring (so-called sexy) lingerie can be an enhancer however not a mandatory accessory. While it is important to know as to how your partner wants you to look… it is equally important as to ‘how you feel yourself’ when dressed and even undressed in a certain way.

Along with the clothes What attitude you wear is also important. Any self-doubt, lack of comfort or feelings self-conscious about what you are wearing could be dampening. A partner can help in such situation by giving a compliment. A genuine compliment over looks and attractiveness can go a long way in setting the mood.

A comfortable dim lighting and a cool atmosphere can enhance the overall effect of how you look to each other and then undressing can further enhance the arousal levels in both.

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