Dear Bachi, my guy not reciprocating to my ‘marriage’ feelings

Dear Bachi,

I know a guy since last 10 years. It’s almost like love at first sight to me. But if first sight is perceived as just my attraction to him it was not like that all these years. I truly love him. It was one-sided for a long while. Now, though we love each other, we cannot get married as we belong to different religions. We both do not want to give up our beliefs.

There is a possibility for us to convince our parents without conversion. But he does not want to try and take our relation any further. I’m deeply in love with him. But he doesn’t care to reciprocate. What do you think would be the best thing to do for both of us?

–Stuck in Love

Dear Stuck in Love,

It is said ‘The path of love ne’er runs smooth’, but yours seems to be as full of pot-holes as a monsoon road.

First of all, I can’t figure out if you are trying to drive this car on all four wheels, or only two –- only yours. For you, it may have been pyar at first dekha, and hamesha-hamesha, but, as it is also rightly said, ‘It takes two to tango’ or to dance any which way into marriage. Looks like the love of your life doesn’t share the same readiness to tie the knot even after 10 years of your devotion.

An interfaith marriage has huge hurdles from parents always worried about ‘society’, so it’s tough even when there’s 101% commitment from both man and woman. In your case, it looks like mister Shyster isn’t making any effort because he himself is only 50% interested, maybe less.

So, my dear lady, before you start dreaming of shehnais/ wedding bells, the first thing you have to be sure of is whether he is singing the same tune — and with as much enthusiasm. Without that guarantee, nothing will work in such a half-hearted marriage, even if somehow or the other you bulldoze him into agreeing. If he is at all unsure for whatever reason, it’s best that you steel yourself to forget about him. You may have wasted 10 years, but, believe me, that’s nothing compared to the whole life ahead of you.

Ask your questions to Bachi @youaskweanswer@timesinternet.in

(Write Giving Gyan in the subject line of your email)

END OF ARTICLE